


Save Myself

by Ever Since New York (flarrow_huntbastian)



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, F/M, Harry Styles Has An Anxiety Disorder, Harry Styles Has An Eating Disorder, Harry Styles Has Social Anxiety, Harry Styles Has a Crush on Louis Tomlinson, Harry Styles Loves Louis Tomlinson, Hurt, Hurt Harry, Hurt Harry Styles, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Louis Tomlinson Has a Crush on Harry Styles, Louis Tomlinson Loves Harry Styles, M/M, Memory Loss, Pain, Panic Attacks, Past Abuse, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-01
Updated: 2020-09-23
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:01:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25651768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flarrow_huntbastian/pseuds/Ever%20Since%20New%20York
Summary: I could have saved myself time and lots of money.Could have saved myself.I should have played myself, I kind of saw it coming.I could have saved myself from you.Walking… yes. That’s right he was walking.  He remembers that.  But where? He had PE… no! He had a music lesson instead so where was he going?  He thinks back, he must have been going to tell the PE teacher he was missing… that's right! He was going to tell Mr Price he had a music lesson but then…Then…He was...What happened!? Why can’t he remember?!This is inspired by Ashe's new song Save Myself! It's also heavily based on personal experience and real life events.
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson
Comments: 2
Kudos: 29





	1. Chapter 1

**_I could have saved myself time and lots of money._ **

**_Could have saved myself._ **

**_I should have played myself, I kind of saw it coming._ **

**_I could have saved myself from you._ **

  
  


Walking… yes. That’s right he was walking. He remembers that. But where? He had PE… no! He had a music lesson instead so where was he going? He thinks back, he must have been going to tell the PE teacher he was missing… that's right! He was going to tell Mr Price he had a music lesson but then…

Then…

He was...

What happened!? Why can’t he remember?!

* * *

“Goodmorning, I’m Nicky Bates. I’ve been trusted to show you around today.” A polite lady with short brown hair introduced herself. Shaking hands with the older woman and her son. “You must be Harry,” She smiled,

The boy nodded silently, not making eye contact with the woman. 

Eye contact was hard. How could he look someone in the eye when he couldn’t even remember the events of hardly two weeks ago. 

He stayed silent for the entirety of the tour. Not speaking up until they reached the drama room. He saw a poster he recognised all too well upon the wall.

“D...do you take part in the Shakespeare festival?” He asked the drama teacher, a glint of hope in his voice, “I did it a couple of times with my old school.”   
His mother, Miss Bates and the drama teacher could all hear the fondness dripping out of his words as he spoke.

“We’ve done it a few times.” Began the drama teacher, “However, we haven’t done it in a while as the school does a lot of things involving drama on their own.”   
The drama teacher smiled at him. Sensing his excitement towards the prospect of performing.

Just a short hour later Harry and his mother were walking back to the car. They silently got in but rather than starting the car Anne turned to her son.

“What did you think, Harry?” She asked, “Did you like it?”   
Harry didn’t look at his mother and instead just nodded slowly.

Harry’s lack of words, however, did not concern her anymore as he’d been that way since he left his old school. If only he could tell her what happened to make him like this.

* * *

  
“I promise Harry, you’ll be fine!” The woman gave him a gentle hug, “I’ll be here to pick you up at four o’clock okay?”   
The boy nodded.

“Have fun! I love you,” She gave him a sad smile before getting back into the car and pulling away.

“I love you too mum.” He whispered to himself as he watched her drive away.

He stood there for a while, unsure of where to go. He was getting odd looks from passing people and he couldn’t figure out why until he looked at their attire.

They were all in smart black and white uniforms, whilst he was wearing black jeans, a white shirt and a tie for a different school… His old school.

Before he could think too much about his old school he felt something hard collide with the side of his head.

“Shit!” He swore, as the wind was knocked out of his lungs and he tumbled to the floor.

“Oh man.” An Irish voice muttered, 

“Jesus Niall!” Another voice yelled, “Are you okay?” 

Harry saw a hand in front of his face, seemingly offering a hand to help him stand.

He hesitantly took it.

“Shit, your eyebrows cut.” Said the owner of the hand.

“Man, I am so sorry!” Called the other voice moving closer. “I have a shit aim but a hard kick. I didn’t mean for the ball to hit you. Dude, I am so sorry.”   
“Jesus Niall, shut up for a minute, I’m trying to make sure he’s okay,” Chastised the other voice,   
“Sorry,” Muttered Niall sadly.

“Are you okay?” Asked the boy, turning back to him.

“I… Yes. I’m fine.” Replied Harry quietly,

“Thank God!” Cried Niall,

“Bit of a rubbish way to start your first day isn't it!” Said the boy, pulling out a tissue and holding it to Harry’s brow.

Harry flinched in surprise at the sudden contact.

“It’s okay, it’s gonna sting a little.” The boy soothed, “I’m Liam by the way. The pillock that cut you is Niall.” He looked to the blond boy holding a football.

“Sorry again.” Smiled Niall sheepishly.

“I’m H…” He paused. He couldn’t remember what went down in school that day but one thing is for sure, all of his old friends and acquaintances hate him. What if these guys know them? What if they hate him too?   
“Sorry, I didn’t quite catch that?” Asked Liam, smiling as he folded the tissue and pressed a clean area to Harry’s eyebrow.

“I’m…” Harry had to think quickly, “Edward.” He finished,

“Edward?” Repeated Liam.

Harry was internally panicking. What if Liam saw through his lies? What if he knew?   
“I like that!” Liam suddenly said,

“Yeah. It fits quite well.” Added Niall, only to earn a confused look from Harry.

Liam shook his head lightly.

“Niall here has this weird thing about our friendship group. He thinks our names should all sound good together just in case we ever form a band. He wants it to sound cool.” Liam looked at Niall, “But the boys and I have told him before that none of us are remotely interested in forming a band with him.”   
Niall scoffed, “You’ll change your mind one day. I mean how cool does this sound,” Niall imitated holding a microphone to his lips and spoke with a funny voice, “Now introducing, Niall Horan, Liam Payne, Louis Tomlinson, Zayn Malik and Edward…?”   
“Styles…” Muttered Harry when Niall faded off,

“Edward Styles. The hit band One Direction!” He continued. He then began to imitate the crowd by clapping and making funny noises. Every now and again muttering phrases such as, “OMG they’re so hot!” and “Louis have my babies,” and “I love your music!”

Harry giggled lightly at the boy's antics.

“I’ve told you time and time again Niall. I’m not joining a band with you and even if I did it would not. I repeat. Would. Not! Be called One Direction!” Liam shook his head laughing lightly, “Be honest dude, it’s a shit name.”   
Niall pretended to be offended, “What would you call it then?”   
Liam looked deep in thought for a second before finally saying, “Well, I don’t know!” Before Niall could get in another word he quickly added, “And it doesn’t matter anyway as we’re not forming a band! Now come on, let’s get this one signed in.”   
Liam started walking away as Harry and Niall followed walking side by side.

As they walked Harry quietly muttered to Niall.

“Well I think it's a cool name.”   
Niall looked up to him, smiling brightly, “I think you and I are going to get on well Eddie!”   
The two laughed.

“What's so funny?” Asked Liam, turning to them as they walked through the main doors.

“Oh nothing Payno! I was just telling Eddie here about how we’re going for shakes after school.” Niall smiled at Harry, “I was seeing if he wanted to come too.”


	2. Chapter 2

“I know right! That was brilliant!” Liam laughed, “We all thought you were gonna start crying or something.”   
“I was not! I don’t cry.” Replied Zayn blushing, “Real men, don’t cry.”   
They all burst out laughing.

“Come on man, crying is all good.” Said Louis, “I like a sensitive man.”

He placed a hand on Zayn's shoulder.

“Yeah, it was like a… a manly cry…” Giggled Nial,

“I’m sure you cried in a cool way.” Added Harry almost silently.

“Ah!” Cried Zayn, “He speaks! Finally… He speaks!” 

Zayn smiled brightly whilst Harry was shocked that he’d been heard. What if he’d said the wrong thing? Did Zayn cry because he didn’t want him to speak or was it of happiness? He didn’t know.

Harry blushed and opted to give only a small smile in response.

Noticing Harry’s embarrassment Louis stepped in.

“So what are we getting?” Asked Louis changing the subject to the options on the menu.

Niall looked down at the menu.

“Fries. Definitely fries!” He almost yelled. “We should get cheesy fries or the natcho fries or the spicy fries or curly fries or, I mean, I’m so hungry I could heat all of them.”

“Of course,” Laughed Louis, “You’re always hungry. What about you Ed, what are you getting?”   
He was met by no response.

“Oi! Ed!” Louis tried again, smacking Harry’s arm lightly,

Harry suddenly looked up in shock, making eye contact with Louis.

“I was just asking what you were going to get?” Repeated Louis smiling at Harry.

“Oh, I uh… maybe just a shake I guess.” He replied quietly, hoping they wouldn’t judge him. I mean, how much sugar was in the shake? Maybe he said the wrong thing, maybe he should just leave.

“Just a shake? No food?” Asked Liam,

“N… no. I uh, I’m not hungry.” Replied Harry quickly.

“Alrighty then!” Cut in Niall as they all began discussing what they were going to order.

They were judging him, he was sure of it. He should just order more… but then they’d judge him for not eating it. He didn’t know what to do. Maybe he should just leave, he knew they didn’t want him there anyway. But Niall had invited him, he must want him there.

He allowed it to continue for the next five minutes before he couldn’t take it anymore. He needed to leave, just to get some air, clear his head a little. Then he can decide what to do, he can decide whether to leave or not.

“I… I uh… I’ll be back.” He said quietly, slipping out of the booth.

“You alright Ed?” Asked Liam, concerned as the boy slid away and looked around drunkenly.

“Ed?” Repeated Harry drowsily before remembering that he’d lied about his name, “Oh… oh yeah, I uh, yeah… yeah. Just… need air. I just need some air.”    
His words were slightly slurred and confused as he half stumbled away from the table towards the door to the diner.

* * *

“Everything alright?” Asked Louis, shaking Harry from his thoughts.

Harry watched the boy as he sat down next to him on the pavement, “You’ve been out here for a while.”   
Harry looked at him briefly before looking back down at the ground.

“I… yeah.” He muttered.

Louis looked unsure.

“Are you sure dude?” He asked, “You didn’t look okay when you left. We’re worried about you.”   
“Why?” Harry asked quietly, not looking up.

“You seemed out of it. We thought you were ill or something,” Explained Louis,

“N...no, I’m fine...”

It was then Harry looked up to Louis. Louis expected to see anger in his eyes but rather it was just sadness and pain.

“We’re worried about you Ed, so tell me what’s up, please.” When Harry didn’t reply Louis continued, “You’re one of the brothers now, you’re one of us. So we’re not getting rid of you and you ain’t getting rid of us.”

Harry shook his head looking away again.

“I don’t even know if I’m definitely moving to your school.” Sighed Harry, “It was my first trial day… Anything could happen.” He muttered.

“That doesn’t matter,” Smiled Louis incredulously, “You’re part of the band now. Even if you don’t go to our school we’re definitely hanging out on weekends!”

“I’m a member of One Direction,” He giggled,

“Welp, not officially,” Louis said seriously.

The sudden change in mood made Harry’s face drop.

“No… no… don’t worry,” Louis suddenly said, “I’m joking but,” He began to explain, “Liam and I came up with it when we were younger to prove that we were and always will be brothers. Then about a year after we met Niall he found out about it and said that he wanted to do it.” Louis smiled at the memory, “Then when Zayn moved to our school and we all got on so well we asked Zayn if he wanted to do it too… He was hesitant at first… he needed time to consider it but he came around to the idea eventually.”   
Louis looked to Harry and stared deep into his eyes.

“It’s just a little joke thing we do. We have a boys night and you answer questions and do three challenges to prove yourself. It's just a bit of fun really.”   
Harry was unsure of how to react.

“I...I uh…” He stuttered,

“It’s not that serious. It’s just a joke thing, a bit of fun,” Explained Louis quickly, trying not to scare the boy. “Sorry, I made it seem like a bigger deal than it was.”

“It’s...I… I have to go.”   
Harry quickly stood up and began walking away. He stumbled through the car park but only made it around ten feet away before he collapsed to the ground, smacking his head on the concrete. Knocking him out cold.

* * *

They chased him through the corridor on A floor. He was on his way to his drama lesson. He was lost in his own world, muttering the lyrics to his favourite song

_ “God damn… hindsight twenty-twenty… poured rain… all over my sunny…” _

He was just outside the door when they found him.

“Oi!” Called the ring leader, “You! What did you say about Luke!?” 

Harry turned to see the three boys heading towards him. He quickly looked at his watch and then into the drama room to see that he was about ten minutes early. There was no one in there at the moment.

He’d previously messaged his friend Toby. They’d agreed that they’d meet each other there now as they both had drama last but as he looked around he saw Toby nowhere in sight. Harry began to panic. 

Toby had said he was in the library. It was only one floor up, above where he was currently standing. The stairs were through a door to his left. Surely Toby would be there any second and then they would leave him alone. 

Any second now, Toby would walk through that door...

Any second…

“Oi! Fag! Answer me!?”

Harry knew he had to do something. There were three options.

Option one, stay, wait for Toby and possibly get attacked by these boys.

Option two, run into the drama room and risk being followed in by the boys and attacked.

Option three, run through the doors, past the stairs, past the girls toilets. Maybe exit through the main doors. Or run upstairs. Or run through to the ground floor and out of the doors by Mr Buckley's room. 

Of all the options, option three seemed most promising.

He ran. Straight through the blue double doors. He looked to the stairs and saw no one approaching. He looked to the wooden doors where he could exit however there were kids there. He ran forward and through another set of doors. Straight past the girls toilets and the other drama room.

“Haz!” Yelled Craig, “Hey, what's wrong?”    
Craig was one of Harry’s friends from the year above. He was currently standing in front of him outside the other drama room. Stopping him from reaching the next set of doors.

“Not now Craig I… I uh…” Harry was out of breath.

“Styles! What the fuck did you say about Luke!?” Yelled the boys who were now just behind him.

He thought quickly, roughly shoving Craig out of the way as he got past.

“Harry!?” Cried Craig in confusion.

The next thing Harry knew he was just through the double doors in the main entry way by the office when he felt it.

His breath caught in his throat as he slumped against the wall.

“Harry?” Cried Miss Hana in concern as she placed her hands on his shoulders, “Harry, you need to take a deep breath.”   
He attempted to do as she instructed but as he did so the three boys pushed through

the door.   
“Answer me Styles! The fuck d’you say abou…” The boys stopped when they saw Miss Hana. They quickly scattered. Running through the doors before they could be caught.

If Harry wasn’t in the middle of a panic attack she would have called them back, however, at this moment in time Harry was her priority.

She quickly ushered him through the glass doors behind them, into the reception.

Once they were through the door Harry broke down sobbing. She quickly wrapped her arms around him. 

“Shh… it’s alright.” She soothed.

After a minute she helped him into the office and sat him on a chair before getting him a glass of water.

She then sat down opposite him.

“Do you want to tell me what happened?” She asked gently.

Harry quickly shook his head. His eyes went wide.    
He couldn’t tell her. He couldn’t tell anyone. It would only make them angrier.

He saw the concern in her features, her genuine care and worry but he couldn’t bring himself to utter a single word.

“I saw them ganging up on you Harry. Please, talk to me…”

He felt sobs rack his body once again.

He couldn’t do it… He couldn’t tell her… He couldn’t tell anyone.

* * *

“Hey Eddie,” Smiled Louis as Harry’s eyes fluttered open,

“W...where am I?” He asked as he tried to sit up.

Louis quickly pushed him back down.

“No… stay down. You fainted from lack of nutrition.” Explained Louis, “You’ll be alright, you just need to eat something.”   
Harry moved his head to the side, assuming he was in a hospital but he was surprised to see he was in someone’s bed room.

“W...where a...am… where am I?” He asked again,

“You’re in my room.” Replied Louis, “My mum’s a nurse. So I’ve learnt a thing or two. Also she gave you a brief once over when I brought you in.”   
“Oh…” Harry whispered,

“Now Eddie,” Louis smiled, “What do you want to eat? Mum said we can order in whatever we want!”

“I uh… I don’t mind.” Muttered Harry not breaking eye contact with Louis.

Louis sat down next to Harry placing a collection of paper pamphlets on Harry’s lap.

“Well, Eddie,” Smiled Louis, “Look through these and tell me what you fancy.”

* * *

_ “I know everything worked out the way it's meant to be… but, honestly…” _

The music blasted through his headphones as he made his way from the east building down towards the language block. He was lost in his own world when he saw them…

Three boys walking towards him.

“You said I was ganging up on you!” The one in the middle called, “How was I ganging up on you!?”   
He turned, he was planning on walking the other way. Around the gym to the west hall but the boy had other ideas. He grabbed Harry’s wrist causing his phone to fall to the floor, ripping his headphones from his ears.

“Answer me!” The boy yelled, “How was I ganging up on you?”   
“Just leave me alone,” Muttered Harry but the boy refused to listen.

Instead he grabbed Harry’s hair, using it to swing him around until he was on the floor. Then he kicked Harry in the stomach.

“Answer me!” The boy yelled again, “How was I ganging up on you!?”   
When Harry didn’t respond he kicked him in the stomach again.

Harry remained there on the floor allowing himself to be kicked and hit until the boys gave up and walked away.

After they were gone he couldn’t bring himself to move. He just stayed huddled in the dirt until he felt someone pull him up. 

“You’re okay” a voice soothed as he felt an arm wrap itself around his shoulders, “You’re okay now.”

He was vaguely aware as he was dragged to the bathroom and was instructed to sit on the counter by the sink. He barely remembered someone holding a damp cloth to his wounds.

“It’s okay. You’re okay now.”

Who was it? Who was soothing him? Who helped him?

And most importantly, why couldn’t he remember?


	3. Chapter 3

“Ed. How’s it going?” Asked Louis as Harry walked into the form room.

Harry didn’t respond or even look in his direction. Instead he just sat at the back of the class like he had the day only this time once he was sat he placed his head on the desk closing his eyes tightly.

Louis looked to Liam confused.

“I wonder what's going on with him?” Asked Louis,

“I… I’ll go talk to him.” Replied Liam slipping off his seat and slowly approaching where Harry was sat.

“Hey,” He said quietly, sitting on the empty chair in front of Harry. Turning to look at the boy. “Everything okay Ed?”

Harry didn’t move in the slightest.

“Ed, what’s wrong?” Liam asked and once again got no response, “You’re really starting to worry me here, mate.”   
Liam lightly placed a hand on Harry’s shoulder. Harry didn’t move.

It was then Liam noticed Harry’s heaving breaths.

“Shit…” muttered Liam, “Come on mate, let’s go.”   
Liam hooked a hand around Harry’s arm trying to pull him up.

“You can’t stay here Ed, come on.” 

Harry slowly allowed himself to be pulled up by Liam.

Slowly they shuffled out of the room and down the corridor. Liam then helped Harry through a door into the stairwell and sat him down on the steps before sitting next to him. He watched in concern as Harry rested his elbows on his knees and hid his face in his hands.

“Take a deep breath Ed…” Instructed Liam, “There you go. Just relax…”

Harry took a deep breath and Liam could see his shoulders visibly relaxing.

“Do you want to tell me what happened Ed?” Asked Liam gently.

Upon hearing the nickname, the boy so commonly used to refer to him, he felt his emotional walls crumble.

“I… I can’t do this anymore…” Sobbed Harry rubbing his hands over his face.

“D… do what, Ed?” Asked Liam, worry thick in his voice,

“T...this…” Harry waved his arms around, gesturing to the room they were in, “All of it.”

“What’s going on?” Asked Liam, “What do you mean this?”

Harry didn’t respond.

“Ed?” Liam asked again,

“That THAT!” Cried Harry standing up pointing frantically at Liam, “I can’t… I just… I can’t…”   
Liam stood up, moving so he stood face to face with Harry.

“I don’t understand,” He asked and as he did Harry’s anger and frustration flooded out and his shoulders slumped.

“I… I can’t… I’m so sick of the lies… the fear… just… all of it,” it was evident from his tone of voice how tired he was.

“Oh… Ed…” Muttered Liam, seeing how distraught the other boy was.

He went to pull him into a hug but Harry pushed him away.

“That’s not my name! STOP! STOP IT!” He cried as he began sobbing hysterically.

He backed away until he was in the corner. He slid down the wall into a fetal position.

“Stop it… please… stop it… that's not my name… please… I can’t… I… stop it…” he kept muttering quietly to himself.

Suddenly the door to the stairwell opened.

“Hey, Miss wants you both back in…” Started Louis, until he saw Harry in the corner.

He quickly crouched down in front of him.

“Ed?” He called reaching out to touch him. However, as he made contact he felt a fist collide with his jaw.

“Shit…” Cried Louis, “What the…”   
He was about to continue but then he saw the look of pure panic on the other boy's features and knew it wasn’t his fault.

“L...louis…” Muttered Harry, “I… I’m… I’m sorry… please don’t hate me…”   
Louis was heart broken as he saw the tears fall from Harry’s eyes.

“It’s okay… I know you didn’t mean it.” Louis spoke gently. He then looked up to Liam, “I’ll go and tell Miss that Ed’s unwell and that you’re helping him.” He said before standing up and walking back through the door.

Once again Liam and Harry were alone.

Liam quickly took Louis’ place on the floor in front of Harry.

“Please tell me what’s wrong?” He asked gently, “I’m really worried for you mate, I don’t understand.”   
Harry looked away from Liam, not daring to make eye contact with the other boy.

“I swear I just want to help you,” Liam added, “I promise I won’t be mad or upset or anything, I just want you to be okay.”

Harry felt tears coming to his eyes as he tried to find the words to say.

“My name’s not Edward,” he muttered almost audibly.

“I… uh… okay…” Began Liam, unsure of how to react but he knew he promised not to be mad so he was going to be as understanding as he could be, “Okay so, what is your name?”   
“Harry,” He mouthed but no sound came out,

“I’m sorry what did you say?” Asked Liam gently,

“H… Harry…” He replied, “M… my name is Harry Edward Styles…”

Liam took a deep breath before responding.

“W… why did you tell us your name was Edward?” He asked, knowing this was going to be a sensitive topic but he had to know. 

Harry looked up at the ceiling, resting his head on the wall.

“I...I was scared… so… so scared…” 

Liam felt his heart breaking for the boy.

“I… I didn’t leave my old school on good terms… I… well, everyone hated me and I… I panicked…” He spoke slowly but Liam didn’t interrupt, he knew Harry would need time to open up, “I was scared t...that you guys would know the people at my old school… and I… well you… you were… and you asked me… and I… I don’t know… I just… I… I’m so so sorry. I… I didn’t want to… but I… I”   
Tears were now freely falling again and he was outright sobbing. 

Liam felt his heart breaking more, if that were possible.

He quickly wrapped his arms around the boy holding him close.

“It’s okay… It’s okay…” he soothed.

Liam still didn’t understand quite what Harry was trying to say as he was so distraught he’d stopped making sense but he didn’t care. He just needed to comfort the lad. 

He then glanced at his watch seeing that first lesson had already begun.

“Look, Ed… I mean Harry…” He quickly corrected, “Lou has a free now and I only have one lesson this morning. I’m going to call him and see if he can drive you home. Then, after my lesson I’ll drive to your house and we can watch stupid movies and just chill okay?”   
He knew Harry was in no place to stay in school right now. He wasn’t okay, he just needed to relax. Liam would have happily driven him home, however, he knew he couldn’t miss his lesson that morning as they had a mock exam.

Harry nodded slowly.

“Okay, I’m going to call Louis, I’ll be right back.”   
Liam stepped through the door and was about to call Louis when he saw Louis waiting in the corridor.

“Is everything okay?” He asked quickly,

“N.. no. It’s not.” Liam replied, “Look, I uh, I need you to listen with an open mind okay.”   
Louis just nodded in response.

“Ed lied to us. He’s not who he said he was. But, before you get angry he only did it because he was scared. I’m not entirely sure what he was scared of as he was so distraught he stopped making sense.” Explained Liam, “But, uh… he freaked out and told me that he ‘couldn’t do this anymore’ and then he told me. His name is Harry.”    
Louis looked shocked. It was a lot to take in.

“Okay…” He replied, “It’s okay. It’s understandable that he’d be scared.”   
“Yeah, but he’s uh… he’s pretty shaken up about it and I was wondering, since you have a free, if you could drive him home and stay with him until I get there.” Started Liam, “I would do it but I really can’t miss second period. However, you’ll only have to stay a couple hours as I’ll head there straight after my lesson.”   
“Of course I’ll drive him home. I don’t mind staying with him all day if you want to stay here.” Replied Louis happily,

“No, no. I’ll come over. You don’t have to stay, but, if you want to maybe we could both keep him company.” Suggested Liam,

“Yeah sure.” Smiled Louis.

Louis shot Liam a reassuring smile before slowly pushing the door open.

“Harry, love…” Started Louis, “Liam told me what happened. I’m going to take you home alright.”   
Louis spoke slowly as if he were approaching a frightened animal.

Harry slowly looked up but he refused to make eye contact with the other boys.

“Come on mate, Lou and I will help you to the car.” Said Liam stepping forward,

“Is it okay if we touch you?” Asked Louis gently, remembering what happened earlier when he tried to touch Harry.

Harry looked confused but nodded slowly.

“Okay,” Mumbled Louis, placing a hand on Harry’s arm.

He slowly pulled him to standing. He wrapped an arm around Harry’s waist to support him. Liam carefully did the same before they headed through the door and made their way slowly down the corridor. By the way Harry’s feet were dragging on the floor anyone would think he was drunk. 

“Boys,” Called a teacher from just behind them as they reached the end of the corridor, “Is everything okay?”   
Louis carefully passed Harry’s weight to Liam before turning to the teacher.

“Harry’s not well so I’m going to drive him home. Liam’s just helping me get him to my car.” Explained Louis quietly,

The teacher nodded before taking in the sight of Liam supporting Harry.

“Yeah, he doesn’t look well,” She commented, concerned, “Don’t worry about signing out, I’ll do that for you. Just make sure he gets home alright.”

“Thank you miss,” Louis smiled gratefully before walking back to Liam, once again taking some of Harry’s weight as they continued down the corridor.

The teacher hurriedly walked past the three boys.

“Let me get the doors for you,” She smiled as she pushed them open.

She held them open allowing the three boys to easily walk through.

As the three approached the final doors out of the building, the teacher once again held the door for them. Once they’d gone through she stopped them and took in Harry’s figure. It was clear he was more than physically unwell, he looked exhausted and completely out of it. She saw how his eyes were glazed over as if he were in a dace. She gently placed a hand on Harry’s shoulder.

“You get some rest, alright. School can wait,” She smiled gently and stepped back, “You boys make sure he gets home okay?” She instructed,

“Of course,” Louis replied,

“Thank you miss,” Added Liam before they set off, once again, to Louis’ car.


	4. Chapter 4

Hello Everyone!  
I hope you're all doing well with back to school season coming up.

Since I go back to sixthform in a week I thought I'd clear some stuff up and explain how often I'll be updating and stuff, while I'm in school.

Currently, I'm off for summer, however, Wednesday 2nd of September will be my first day back at school. My school day runs from 8:50am until 4pm. In that time I will have lessons and will be working and, yeah, you know the drill. But, as I'm in sixthform I will have free lessons. In those lessons I will be doing homework and my driving lessons will also be scheduled in that time. However, on the off chance that I don't have work to do or I finish my work early I will try and work on chapters or one-shots or whatever it is that I'm currently working on on here.

I'm in quite the fortunate situation that, while most of my piers are doing four subjects, I've only chosen to do three (Drama, English Lit and Film Studies - if you're wondering) so, that means I will have a full subject's amount of frees. This is good as most teachers assume the students are doing four and so set work knowing that you're doing three others. This, in theory, means that I should be able to dedicate at least an hour a week of school time to work on my fictions. Obviously, things may come up and I may not be able to write but I will try.

I have a bad habit of getting inspiration and starting multiple fictions and then never finishing them. If you've been around since I started posting my Flarrow and Huntbastian fics then you'll know what I mean. So, much like I did back then with I'm Okay Really and Hurt and Confusion, I'm going to order my fics in a list of priority. What this means is that all other fictions will be put on hold until the one at the top of the list is complete and so on. The only exception to this list will be 'The Little Book of Larry' as that is a book of one-shots that will never really be complete. Also, writing one-shots is a good way of breaking up my writing on other fictions, meaning I won't get bored of writing as I'll always have something else to work on.

The list is as follows:

1) Hear My Words, Not My Voice (one thousand words)

2) Let Me Help You

3) The Styles Guide To Being Beautiful

4) Save Myself

Addressing One Thousand Words, as I've re-written it as Hear My Words, Not My Voice I have decided that on September 1st I will delete One Thousand Words from my account, meaning you will no longer be able to access it. As of this message being posted I will have changed the settings so that only people with Ao3 accounts can access it but in September it will be fully removed.

One final thing!  
I'm creating a new Ao3 account where all of my works will be re-posted, including my older works such as I'm Okay Really and Hurt and Confusion. I won't be deleting any of the fictions from this account straight away, however, I do intend to eventually shut down this account. Once I've completely moved a work I will set it so only registered users can view it and by January 2021 this account will be deleted.

Don't worry! I'm still going to post and read your comments and everything in between now and then but, keep in mind that works are moving. As soon as the new account is set up I will post a link to it.

In the meantime feel free to follow me on Instagram @bohogreenwitch and say hi! I love talking to all of you and it's a great way to interact with you all.  
  


As always, 

All the love,

\- El xoxo


	5. Chapter 5

Hello Everyone! I hope you’re all doing well and are staying safe. 

Some people have commented telling me that my fictions have been re-posted on another account. Whilst usually I would be annoyed by the reposting and thankful that you’d reported it to me but worry not! If you see one of my fictions reposted on an account titled 3ls_fictions then it is not a stolen fic. 3ls_fictions is my new Ao3 account!

Most of my fictions have been moved, links to the moved fictions are linked below.

**The Styles Guide to Being Beautiful:**

[ https://archiveofourown.org/works/26612446 ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26612446)

**Hear My Words, Not My Voice (AKA One Thousand Words):**

[ https://archiveofourown.org/works/26160982/chapters/63653257 ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26160982/chapters/63653257)

**Let Me Help You:**

[ https://archiveofourown.org/works/26213380/chapters/63796516 ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26213380/chapters/63796516)

**Sign of the Times:**

[ https://archiveofourown.org/works/26177044/chapters/63697888 ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26177044/chapters/63697888)

**Hurt and Confusion:**

[ https://archiveofourown.org/works/26194057 ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26194057)

**I’m Okay Really:**

[ https://archiveofourown.org/works/26158615 ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26158615)

There are still more fictions to move and not all of the moved fictions are completely moved and up to date. For example I’ve currently only posted chapter one of ‘The Styles Guide to Being Beautiful’ on 3ls_fictions but I am trying to update them at least once every two to three days!

‘Save Myself’ and ‘The Little Book of Larry’ have yet to move but I will post the first chapter of ‘The Little Book of Larry’ on 3ls_fictions either this afternoon or tomorrow and then I’ll move ‘Save Myself’ either tomorrow or Friday.

By the end of the year all of these fictions will be moved and taken down from this site so be sure to check and subscribe to my new account for updates and uploads:

[ https://archiveofourown.org/users/3ls_fictions/pseuds/3ls_fictions ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/3ls_fictions/pseuds/3ls_fictions)

  
  


I hope you’re all doing well in these times of uncertainty and are looking after yourselves. If you ever need to talk don’t hesitate to comment on one of my fictions, although I don’t use this account to post I still receive emails about the comments so I will see it. If you’d prefer it to be more private then add me on Instagram @bohogreenwitch and send me a direct message. 

I love talking to all of you as you’re all so nice and kind. 

All the love,

El xoxo


End file.
